Let it be known, that I am of the firm opinion that the only real celebration of the mind expanding properties of psychedelic mushrooms saint that rewards the good and punishes the bad, is the Dutch Sinterklaas, not this imposter Santa Clause.
As one of my math professors convincingly argued in a time I was still quite impressionable:
- 17+ Million clear headed Dutchies can not be wrong. All those cola-advertising-indoctrinated ones can.
- Sinterklaas is on December 5th, Santa Clause is December 25th. Clearly the first is the first.
- If that is not convincing, Sinterklaas existed before the American culture that promotes Santa Clause existed. Again, the first is clearly the first, is clearly the correct one
- The elder Sinterklaas spends his off-time in a warm climate (Spain). The elder Santa Clause goes and hides on the North pole icecap. If you could fly anywhere anytime at several times faster than the speed of sound (to deliver all the packages), without breaking the sound barrier, and you were an older gentleman, where would you go?
QED
Update December 2024: the tomb of Saint Nikolas seems to have been found.